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我对失眠的痛苦太了解了。我的睡眠问题从十几岁就开始了，上大学时变得更糟糕。记得那时有位朋友对我说：你现在主要是脑子里的事太多了，工作状况不确定，个人问题也没有解决， 等以后这些问题都解决了之后，你肯定会好起来的。几年过去了，我的⼯作很稳定，个⼈关系也很稳定，但我的睡眠质量仍旧极差：没有变得更好，反而变得更糟。
I know the pain of insomnia a little too well. I had been a bad sleeper early on, ever since teenage years. It got worse during college. I remember a friend telling me in college: you just have a lot on your mind right now, job situation uncertain, dating troubles, you will be fine once these concerns get resolved. Years later, my job was pretty stable, my personal relationship was pretty stable. I was still hopelessly bad sleeper. It did not get better, it got worse.
常年睡眠不足会对身体造成很大伤害。神经科学教授马修·沃克（Matthew Walker）撰写了《为什么我们要睡觉》⼀书，他说：“睡眠是大自然为⻓生不老所做的最大尝试”。如果你没有每天定时接收睡眠所提供的完整⾃我修复的滋养，你的健康⼀定会受损。我的身体开始出现那些老年人才会有的各种症状：精力不足，健忘，免疫力低下。
Years of bad sleep can really take a toll on your body. Matthew Walker, a neuroscience professor who wrote the book “Why We Sleep”, said that “sleep is mother nature’s best effort at immortality”. When you don’t go through the complete self repair and healing mechanism offered by sleep on a regular basis, your health suffers. I started having all sorts of unpleasant symptoms that are usually associated with getting old: low energy, forgetfulness, weak immunity.
为了能睡个好觉，我尝试了各种⽅法。酸枣仁，针灸，⽳位按摩⼿表，中药，⻄药，营养品， 几乎什么都做了。我甚⾄尝试过安眠药（以后再也不会碰它了）。但都没什么⼤的帮助， 我的睡眠质量时好时坏。我继续我的挣扎。
Out of the desperation to get a good night sleep, I’ve tried all sorts of remedies. Jujube seed, acupuncture, special message watches, Chinese herbs, pharmaceutial pills, supplements, you name it. I even tried sleeping pills, which I would never touch again. It helped marginally. My sleep quality went through ebbs and flows. I dragged on.
后来，事情终于开始改善了。现在，我几乎每天晚上都可以睡个通宵，白天精力充沛。我不再依靠午睡来支撑。
Then things started to change. Today I sleep through the night almost every single night, and have plenty of energy throughout the day. I no longer depend on naps to get through.
最为巨大的转变是在我试图改变这个东西之后才开始发生的。而我以前根本就没有想过这会对我的睡眠有什么影响：
The transformation did not happen until I began to work on this one thing that I did not know have such a dramatic impact on my sleep:
我的意识。
My mind.
中国人对身与心之间的关系有很深刻的了解。西方世界刚刚醒悟过来，所以近些年才会有“思想，身体和精神”三位⼀体的这种说法。
Chinese have always understood the relationship between mind and body and how they could influence each other. The western world has just been catching up, thus the new trinity of “mind, body and spirit”.
因为睡眠不好的时间太长了，我已经接受了“我就是这个样⼦”的假设。它甚⾄成为了我身份的⼀部分。而这个正是我需要改变的。
I’ve suffered from bad sleep for so long, I’ve succumbed to the belief that “that is just the way I am”. It even became part of my self identity. That is exactly what I had to change.
通过我自己的经验，我的研究和帮助他⼈提高睡眠质量，我意识到，有不止⼀个因素可以导致失眠，但解决其它问题之前，⾸先需要改变的是你和睡眠之间的关系。
What I have realized through my own journey, through my research, and through helping others getting better sleep is, first and foremost, what needs to be changed, before addressing anything else that may contribute to bad sleep, is to change your relationship with sleep.
当你失眠⼀段时间后，你肯定开始为此倍感压力，几乎可以断定你与睡眠的关系已经不那么健康了。
When you have suffered from insomnia for a while and it starts to weigh on your life, it is almost a guarantee that you already developed a bad relationship with sleep.
睡眠，这个发生于人体最为自然的现象，开始让你担心和焦虑。
Sleep, the most natural thing that happens to a human body, starts to become this thing that worries you and give you anxiety.
我记得那些⼀想起睡觉我就开始紧张的日子。我记得躺在床上，拼命试图⼊睡的那些夜晚。我记得凌晨3点醒来，瞪着时钟，内心充满了知道自己3个小时之后就需要起床，而又无法入睡的那种绝望。我那个时候没有意识到，我与睡眠的不良关系已经太久了。
I remember the days when the mere thought of sleep made me anxious. I remember the nights when I lay in bed awake, trying desperately to fall asleep. I remember waking up at 3 AM and staring at the clock with dread, knowing I only have 3 hours before I have to get up. Little did I know, I had been in a bad relationship with sleep for too long.
是的，失眠还有许多其他心理和生理因素。但是对于那些有慢性睡眠问题的⼈，我给他们的第⼀条建议是：重新审视你和睡眠的关系。从这里开始。
Yes, insomnia has many other psychological and physiological factors. But for anyone who suffers from chronic sleep problems, the number one advice I’d give is: reframe how you think about sleep. Start here.
你是不是需要有意识地去吸⽓和呼⽓来维持体内的氧气水平？你不会。因为你的身体完全可以自己完成这个任务，不需要你进行任何干预。睡眠也是⼀样的。之所以会这样，是因为你的身体需要它才能生存。
Do you have to make a conscious effort to breathe in and breathe out to maintain appropriate oxygen level in your body? No, you don’t. Your body does this on its own, without you trying. Sleep should be the same thing. It just happens, because your body needs it for survival.
你会不会不善于呼吸？不会，没有⼈这样。同样，你也不是不善于睡眠。没有⼈不善于睡觉。让我们停顿⼀下，把这个事实完全渗透到你的认知⾥：你不是⼀个不善于睡觉的人。其实，你非常善于睡觉，你⼀直如此。睡眠是你与⽣俱来的权利和能力。你的身体完全知道如何放松下来，在夜间做⼀个完整的修复。当你⽆法⼊睡时，这是因为你养成了⼀些思维⽅式和习惯，让你对自己睡眠的能⼒失去了信心。
Are you a bad breather? No, nobody is. Neither are you a bad sleeper. Nobody is. Let this sink in: you are not a bad sleeper. You are an excellent sleeper by nature. Sleep is your birth right. You were born with this ability. Your body knows exactly how to line everything up and turn on self-healing during the night. When you can’t sleep well, that is because you have developed certain thought patterns and habits that make your lose your confidence in your ability to sleep.
但这个能力你⼀直都有，⽽且你永远不会失去它。你只是有⼀段时间忽略了它，所以现在你需要把它收回来。
But the ability is always there. You can never lose it. You just lost contact with it for a while, and now you need to reclaim it.
回想⼀下你开始出现睡眠问题之前，睡觉根本就不是个事的那些日子。你可以睡得像个婴儿，不是吗？那个能力你仍然有，它⼀直住在你身体⾥。即使现在，你在备受焦虑折磨的时候，也是如此。
Think back to the time before you started having sleep problems, when sleep came naturally. You slept like a baby, didn’t you? It is in you, it is always in you. It is always there. That is the way you can be, even now, when you have so much anxiety over sleep.
所以，从今天开始，我希望你每天可以告诉自己，早上起来，晚上入睡前，对自己说：我睡觉超棒！我可以睡⼀整夜！对自己说5次，10次，100次。
So starting from today, I want you to tell yourself every single day, first thing in the morning and last thing before you drift off to sleep: I am a great sleeper! Say it to yourself 5 times, 10 times, 100 times.
这不会让你即刻彻底改变，但这是⼀个很好的起点。无论你的睡眠怎么样，⽤坦然的⼼态来对待。你对睡眠感觉压力越大，睡眠就越不好。即使你只睡了5个⼩时，半夜醒了两次，也要告诉自己，这都是正常的。每个⼈身体愈合的节奏都不⼀样。即使是⼀点点小进步，也会让你增加那么⼀点点对自己的信⼼。⼀点⼀滴，信心会越来越大。这需要时间。对自己有些耐心。
This is not going to turn you around completely right away, but it is a good starting point. No matter what happens with your sleep, be at ease with it. The more stress you give yourself about sleep, the more difficult it is for you to sleep. Even if you only slept for 5 hours, even if you woke up twice, tell yourself it is all ok. Your body has its own ways and rhythm to heal. Having just a little bit progress gives you a little confidence back. Confidence builds on confidence. It takes time. Be patient.
另外，即使你感到疲倦，也尽量不要在白天小睡。这个习惯改起来不很容易。但记住，事情在变好之前，往往会先变得更糟。小睡可以让你暂时补充⼀下精力，但对你的夜晚睡眠会产生负面的影响。
Also, try not to nap during the day if you can, even if you feel tired. Changing a habit is not easy. You’d feel worse before you feel better. Nap can give you a short boost of energy, but could impact your sleep negatively at night.
如果你在夜间醒来，不要去看表。它只会给你带来不必要的焦虑，对你的睡眠没有任何帮助。
If you wake up during the night, do not look at the clock. It does not help with your anything but giving you stress.
从今天开始，慢慢改善你与睡眠之间的关系。杜绝“我就是跟别⼈不⼀样”这种错误的想法。相信自己可以⽽且绝对会重新睡得像个婴儿，这是良好睡眠的开始。
Start today to repair your relationship with sleep. Forget the false belief that you are just different and you are not a good sleeper. That is absolutely the wrong belief. Claim it back by first realizing you can and you will sleep like a baby again.
